Holy relax

After a frenzy week, finally some peace time during the weekend, including deserved resting. And only there in the mind's background: I haven't forgotten something important to do before tomorrow, have I?
The whole last week I wantes to speak here about the spectacular abuse we suffered last weekend... We climbed an active volcano, and we didn't see lava!!! And you'd say: that's good, isn't it? Nope. You're supposed to climb a volcano to burn your lashes with the heat... At least, we saw incredible sights...
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After that, of course, week started quite bad, with our main character burnt (by the sun, not by the lava, I repeat), and with muscle ache (you cannot do certain things beyond a certain age, even if you think you're still young it may not be true). Starting like that, on Tuesday I was exahusted... and in spite of that, after a series of intense and long days (visits and dinners included), I arrived to Friday and to a girl's dinner that fixed everything. We only lacked the bear pijamas... This allowed me to recover to move my furniture on Saturday, going a little shopping (I didn't have anything!) and preparing a ton of croquetas (practising the croquetation lessons I received with Filomenita, during the holidays).
And the result is utterly positive: mi appartment now seems a home, and is reasonably clean to receive my new room mate, who's coming this week. I regret to say that she won't be as interesting as the last one, I expect.
And now I'm preparing for another week, holding breathe before another sprint. Because all Fridays I have the feeling that yesterday was Sunday. Then, tomorrow's Fruday again? Magari... Mauber I am too relaxed, or this weekend should have three days.
After a summer day without aummer (stroll on the sun, Mediterranean meal in the terrace and chat after meal included), I go to sleep. Tomorrow begins another week.


Why do I go around the bush? Because yesterday I was looking some photos that I've printed today, and I've had ideas again.... No, mean, mean. But, as I said in the last post, the most difficult part is to change habits. Thus, I make catharsis.

In funzione di nessuna logica

The worst is to avoid habits. Specially, those habits you know is stupid to have, but still you have. Like smoking. The only reason that makes a habit stupid is that it harms either you or others. But, although you consciently want to do against you instinct, at the end you follow your habit. And, because of a psycologic osmosis, you end up feeling like a stupid. It's a habit.

But if I had only two things in this Earth, one of them would be my will, so let's stop with stupid habits. Let's end with its rests. Let's skip their stupid conditions.

Because, where did these stupid habits come from? They don't follow any logic.
Change is scary. But those who do not fear are not brave, are thoughtless. The brave just stand fear five minutes longer.

Confesso l'ho fatto apposta
nell'intento di ferirtiti
sembrero' alquanto stupida
sicuramente immatura
per tutte quelle volte in cui ho sentito l'istinto di abbracciarti
per tutte quelle volte in cui ho creduto sul serio
di annullarti dalla mia testa
annullarti dalla mia testa
annullarti
il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica
ammetto ero al sicuro
nel mio guscio di carta pesta
ho agito facendo in modo
di non mostrare incoerenza
per tutte quelle volte in cui ho creduto di non assecondarti
per tutte quelle volte in cui ho creduto sul serio
di annullarti dalla mia testa
annullarti dalla mia testa
annullarti
il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica
il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica

Carmen Consoli, in funzione di nessuna logica

Lilith revamped

Hereby I present you, dear friends and relatives, readers all, the new version of Lilith... changes the year, changes the look. Because too many things have changed, we needed a formal changed aswell.
FUrthermore, this is my autobirthdaypresent, the recognizition of the change od attitude. Here I am, acid and lively as always, and besides Mozilla proven and also in English, oficially.

Besides, the celebration traditions... yesterday a home party that left my house full of sodas and with the need of a deep clean, and tomorrow, volcano climbing. To demonstrate that ins pite of understanding the creams ads in teh TV, one can still do some extras...

It's over

I know I have pending issues, but today is a special day. And you would say... why? Is not your birthday, not any close one's, not a national day, not having any examination that will change my life, I don't seem to have won lottery... Nope. Today is my last ICEX day.

It's been a lot of things since that November 22nd 2004 when one of the interviewers note dows in the paper of my interview: she is going Rome. Three years have passed, a strange master, a lot of friends and travels, a lot of unforggetable experiences, a lot of things learnt, disappointments and anger, some vocations discarted and some developed instead, I'm used to live outside my country and miss its good things (and criticize the bads when I arrive on holidays), I have left pieces of my heart all around (although I think there's stil enough here)...

Since tomorrow, nothing will change on practice, I don't expect to become taller, blonder and slimmer (however, everything's possible), I don't think my attitude of my walk will change, but I won't be intern anymore. It's not automaticallt that since tomorrow I will be profi, but this is a step further in the lon long way of yellow tiles.

¡¡¡Hip, hip, hurra!!!!

Voyages, voyages

Preparing the baggage to Paris... well, the backpack, because low costs are like that, it's cheaper if you fly without weight... we have even the check in (Saint Rita, make me not forget the paper) and everything prepared... I've got the lenses liquid, because we want to be beautiful and seeing in the City of Light. I'm excited. A day of museums, a day of monutments and the eternal doubt of: should we go up the Eiffel tower? It's so expensive, to be afraid up there... Well I didn't do it last time.
The batteries prepared to take a million photos, the hotel's address, and the directions of the metro (I hope they will give us a map)... will they let us to have some sandwiches in the bag?

And when I'll be back, the other baggage... I've got a lot of things written down for that one. But pian piano si va lontano, I will think about that when time arrives.
Let's say that 2008 has started very good...

Goodbye, dear 2007...

No, I didn't do it. Because I didn't want to. Better, I stayed awake watching terror stories in the TV... I guess that untill I have my grapes in the hand (or in the mouth) I won't realize that year is changing.
Anyway, after writting yesterday's post, I realized that uch of the examination and balance has already been done (therefore my nocturne ociosity).
It all boils up to 2007 has changed my life.
I've changed the way I see a lot of things and people. It has relativized many things I never dared to relativize. I have rediscovered things I don't want to become and I have understand others that I am, and I have also seen what I want to become. I have find some thing that I can do, and others that others can do.

I've cleared the last big lie, and now I have all the reasons I've always wanted to be a unforgivable cynic. I have checked a lot of my theories and I've changed some, I've decided that some day, I will compile them in a book.

I've been disappointed as I had never been, and I hace one more seen that although I easily forgive, I can't forget. The truth is that it doesn't bother me, cicles close, people change, although only to become more like themselves. Maybe is that exactly what's happening with me. And probably not to forget is the best remedy not to commmit the same errors again.

I've learnt in 2007 as much as in the previous 26 years, and this is the positive sight. Something very important has disappeared forever, and that's the negative one. I expect this year that beggins will bring something positive to fix this. If it doesn't... patience. However, I've got the feeling that 2008 will be a great year.

Time of peace, love and joy...

And I was thinking that these holidays would be useful to order my life (bloggerly speaking and more), and the truth is that it was just and ad (at least it wasn't a mystical parfum ad). The holidays, at least in my case, are only to confuse more those who are already confused because in their normal lifes they are too busy to order their ideas. Or maybe the problem is that I'm practical when I'm busy, because my talent is that natural ability to priorize and simplify, but when I have some free time, I forget to priorize and I get stuck in the middle of a knot of files that are thoughts.
Why, if don't have any inmediate worry? Because when you don't have natural and normal worries, you find these others that were aside, and that are happy enough to be found.

Because these Christmas are not what I expected, although I should be already used to it, because life is what happens when you are planning something different (quote qith different fathers, so I quote it as I want), and I still don't know why.
- I don't feel like its is Christmas, Mr. Policeman... it all begun with those angels in the Reforma, that seemed to be hanged...

Tonight I'll try to do some examination of my conscience, in order to write a resumèe of the year tomorrow 31st. I know what scheme it will follow: it's a disbalanced year, with some very positives and some very negatives, that are forcing me to change my direction in a strange turn I didn't considered this time last year. This is determining my New Year's Proposals... let's do this change of direction as sweet and elegant as possible, Mr. Spok.

And maybe, better than doing any examination (specially of conscience!!), I'd like to be in the preparty tonight... but something cannot be and besides are impossible.

Various presentations

Almost, almost... in seven hours, I'll be in the plane to Spain... hm, how happy. I've got the baggage almost done, the office drivers are taking me to the airport... I've managed to pay the change penalty of the ticket... I wonder what will be wrong, because normal trips don't exist.
Well, the bunch of Spanish that will be in the plane is not normal enough. Between three and four, we will be all there in the airport, I guess we will be able to make a party with the Penedés wine by courtesy of Iberia (or something finer for those flying in bussines. Nota bene: Remember to pass the Iberia card, I've got almost ten thousand points...).

But I wasn't writting to say this, really. I wanted to speak about spam mails, those that are strange chains... this week I've received to limit examples. The ones that I receive from people from work already fed me up emoguh, and don't usually don't opne them. But about this issue, we could have a discussion about the nature of my office and if its a cultural thing, at least to a certain extend, and therefore I should be more respectful or not (for example, when I am told that there are two guys that cure people from cancer by only making them eat raw food...). I'm usually more attracted about those coming from Europe.

You can already find in Facebook the same messages that used to arrive in hotmail some time ago: Hotmail is closing down!!!!! Send this email to all your contacts (don't mind if you have a few) to stop them closing!!! But, let's see... if you send, let's say, three hundred emails like this, of course they are closinf, because you are going to fill the servers with junk!! Fortunately, arrived to the ground the allmighty Google qith its evergrowing accounts, and all this mails stopped (anyway, I'm waiting someday: Google is closing down!!!). Facebook is supposed to be closing because there's a lot of people without photo... I do encourage all of you to complete your profiles, not because they are closing (they are making serious bussines over there), but because it is a good network to which be connected (andanyway, google already knows all our data.. some people more won't hurt). I've had some cuorious running into's... I that have this shepard soul, love to know where people is and what they are doing, and it makes easier to find common friends. Although, the facebook friends could be enough for another post, I think.

The other spam mail that I have received has been much more gruesome and has bothered me much more. Silly me, I've opened it against my own rule. It was a presentation with photos of a car accident with the aim of sensibilizating about how dangerous is to drink and drive. I do agree in the message, but not in the form. First, the accident shown is not an alcohol accident, at least not in the circumstances described in the presentation, because the text speaks about a party in the night and the accident is in broad daylight. Further, there are no two cars, as it says, there's only one, under a truck. Besides an stupid and melodramatic text (of course, with a terrific grammar and syntax), there's a moment in which the photographer arrives to the supposed driver of the car, of course very very severed if not dead. The lack of respect that this photo means is outrageous. And it's not only the fact of taking it, but afterwards using it in a presentation! And sending it to a bunch of unknown people!! With the tragic tone of the text, the stupid who wrote the text could maybe have though that, besides that the girl loves her family a lot, the last thing she wants to see in this world is not a asshole taking pictures of her dying. On the other hand, the photos are moved, I expect the photographer was punched in the liver when taking them.
And I don't want to think in the girl's family.
I remember a post by Pilimindrina (unfortunately, she abandonned her blog long ago, at least with this name) in which her spoke about her best friend, who had died in a car accident. A photographer had taken a photo, and his mother had seen it. It's not that you are respecting or not some one's death, but the pain you can cause to the person's family. This free pain is big enough not to take this kind of photos. But no, they do it. And they use them in presentations that go around the world. i haven't seen it till the end, I hope at the end it doesn't say: "send it to eight hundred friends or you will suffer the same luck"

Conclusion: The lack of respect for people is outrageous. How can world go better if people don't recognize the other as people ans not just as things...


And to close, let's return to the merry tone of the beggining. I wanted to leave you with a doc, but I can't find it. While I look for it, I leave you with the promise of finding it... about all the things that could close if you don't forward it.
The next post, from la piel de toro.

The man that magazines describe

Is that man that automatically causes scepticism and defense, because it can't be happening to me, is like Meg Ryan's films. Because on has, in spite of all, in some moment of uncertainty, bought and read one of those stupid magazines that explain how to think and what rimmel to use. And thus one knows that the information contained there is not trustworthy at all.
Then, one runs into someone that seems to accomplish al requeriments, even the most strange ones that boil down from the tests ("Is him your ideal man? Find it oout in five minutes), and instead of feeling the awesome and marvel of the moment, starts looking for the hidden camera.
According to Cosmo, the ideal man is kind, listens to you (and even remembers things which may not interest him that much), takes care of himself, but not more than you, goes well along with your friends without flirting, is nice enough to tell you how beautiful you look (also when is not true) and speaks about your multiple qualities, he is there when you've had an awful day (and also to be cuttled when he has had an awful day and you feel like mothering him)... and besides, is cute.
To be honest, since I found out that George Clooney lives with a pork, I had lost hope on the existence of this compendium of socalled perfections... and now, I examine quite carefully whoever might seem to have them. Another favour has done to the world... rising mistrust so much...
Or maybe Cosmo has nothing to do with it, and I've had too much of this thing for the cold. Anyway, here start my New Year Resolutions:
In 2008, whenever someone seems to have all these characteristics, I won't look for defects... (they will come up anyway by themselves!)
All Cosmopolitan without alcohol are banned from Lilithland.
And so are al Meg Ryan films, except in the cases prescripted by the law.

Sunday night...

...and I am coming from another special weekend.Last week was a complete madness, including up and downs. It remembered me the description that my beloved friend Oshidori once made of Lord of the Rings: war, war, war, elves, war, war, races, battles, eleves... but in my case it was more like: report, data, report, Italians, report, battle, report, Italians... and so on. But it ended, as everything does in this world, either good or bad. Let's see what brings next week. Probably, a lot of work... but I've had my part.Friday, strange expats party, from which some details will be long remembered, as the plans to travel to NYC, for example, o the phone numbers that were exchanged: what the hell means when one gets the number of all gays present in a party? Saturday in Antigua, speaking about everything and having a nice tour (another frustrated vocation) in my adoption country... and a Sunday with SouthAmerican bbq, recipes exchange included, and with punch instead of sangría. The day ended up with George in the cinema. He is not that cute in his last film, but is always interesting to see him.
Michael Clayton, a mix between The Firm and Erin Brokovich with some mystical touches here and there and an awesome photography. The only thing I've positively not liked is the title: I'd have chosen Realm and Conquer, I reckon).Now I need to finish with the photos, which are accumulated in my cameras (indeed, since I haven't organized them, I cannot harash people by mail in order to get the ones I miss), and go to bed with a nice book, tomorrow is Monday. As per general dinamics, Christmas is dangerously near... and so is the deadline for buying presents (fortunately, I have found a wonderful shop for a couple things I still need), and I'm looking forward going home (it may seem untrue, but the El Almendro ad seems so beautiful now...). It is also the moment to close 2007 in several senses, including my annual photo file. It's not only tiding up the digital photos, which is already a titanic effort, but I should also print a lot of the others.Besides, as I have already said in other post, a few days or months ago (don't ask when, I'm a little lost in the blog), it's time to do an overview of the year. However, in this occasion, I think that I've already made an inconcious annual plan for 2008. The other day, chatting around, I discovered that my odd synthesis ability had already discovered the kay points of what 2007 has meant to me and what do I want for 2008 to mean. The motto for this concience exercise is still to be chosen, dear readers:
- Sometimes you are just standing in front of your destiny and don't notice it
- When tress doesn't allow you to see the wood (I don't like this one that much, it seems a autohelp book).
- I'm short-sighted, it's not at all my fault if I didn't see it coming.

Anyway, this is a crucial moment in my life, I know it. This year I've felt a vocation, and a sense for a lot of the things I do. I've discovered that there are a lot of things that I liked that I can't stand now, and viceversa. I've closed the last grand interrogant and I've stop lying myself about one important thing or two. I might have lost someone important, but I've found myself. Not bad, since the quest started two years ago. At last, I don't have one foot in each side of Lilithland.
And the very best part is that I feel next year will be better. The positive energy runs through my veins. So much energy, that I already have some notes in my new calendar, in the wall. And now, I leave you with the marketplace in Guatemala's Zona 1, not that bad...