Now

And in spite of all, the difficult part begins now.
Now that you are not there, and in spite of all, I still have the need to speak to you.
Now, that I am trying to figure out the pieces left in the space that you abandonned, o that I created when I erased you, now, I run into you all at every movement. Now, that I am trying to understand a look, without thinking of how many times yours has deceived me.
Now that I have found a reason to hate you, I don't feel like it anymore, because it doesn't make sense. Nor that my mind, my heart and my mouth can reproach for a lifetime, I feel that doing so would be pointless.
Now that I see the world under another light, I see you only left me an awful inheritance, and while others taught me love, and see the world beautiful, sad, but beautiful, you only left me a huge disappointed silence. I cannot even thank you for this, I just can forget it, and move on in order to have no more fear to leave a smile come to me.